Could the gods digest our "earthly" food?

Oh my God, Anubis and his fellow gods were extra-terrestrials alright! They did not have stomachs good enough to digest our food, so they ate our sh!t, sorry. All that embalming nonsense was just to obtain food – from our stomachs. Ok, maybe I am a little excited, but please look at the facts:

1. The name Espaniar for Spaniards is a corruption for the Kalanga word Ba-esi panya, meaning “those who escort you to sh!t”. The Spanish got this name during the building of the Egyptian pyramids.

2. The name Abyssinians is a corruption for the Kalanga word “Abe sinya”, meaning “they (those who) did not shit”. These were black Southern Africans who had migrated to Egypt and environs and evidently did not take part in the construction of the pyramids.

3. Some thirty years ago, Alphonse [may his soul and his wife’s Thembi’s rest in peace] used to euphemistically say that he was going to “talk to the gods” whenever he went to the loo.  You can confirm this with his friends.

So, I submit that Alphonse must have heard it from somewhere in “folk lore” that people used to go to the toilet “to speak to the gods”.